I am an optimist. Always has been. Especially when it came to my world, more correctly the bubble I call life.
I always find my self looking at the brighter picture and imagining better tomorrows. But for the past few weeks it hasn’t been the case, I am overwhelmed with this sense that my optimism sometimes borders on denial and for all the signs that might be out there I am blind to it. Can’t tell. Can’t distinguish between these very different situations. And I keep choosing optimism over any other alternative. Why, because the other alternative means anxiety and lots of it.
My ex breaks up with me, I go from shock to sadness to anger to rebound to acceptance to peace within 15 days! Mentally optimism was not hard to find, and was able to find peace quickly. On that front anyway. I thought by default things at work had to be going well, things can’t go all wrong at the same time, please! But they are not, denial was kicked out of its place and was replaced by anxiety anyway and I really really don’t like it, I am trying my best to find optimism out there and then Dubai falls down.
An extremist. It seems what my mind really understands are either one of two states, excitement and optimism from one side, or anxiety and pessimism from the other.
Can’t I comprehend OK? Really, maybe OK is just too boring for me. Maybe against what I usually claim, I am drawn to drama the good and bad!